tentarude:

troncats:

sorry:

I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night

why do text posts these days sound like they are quotes from a 40 year old mother’s facebook

image

(Source: sorry, via futureoliviapope)

lynzave:

my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing 

(via futureoliviapope)

santatveit:

going back to school after a break is like when you pause a video game to go pee and when you come back you forget how intense and chaotic everything was when you paused it and the second you unpause it all your enemies collectively punch you in the face

(Source: hectorstaco, via futureoliviapope)

After 10 seconds: (100+) Tumblr

After 10 days: (1) Facebook

dutchster:

i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing its fins

(via futureoliviapope)